Jadie,
Loving you is not as hard as you think. Your mind is not average and that heart is complexity I find hard to describe, so I can see how someone can describe loving you as challenging. I can only describe this in the terms of my love for you, and I have to believe these words are true. There is a certain trust and certainty I find in that heart. I don’t fully understand why I have an overwhelming need to love you. I don’t even know why it gives me so much joy, but I know I need to, I always have. I’ve had a chance to experience the world without you and it’s cold, flat, and it’s lonely. Do you know why its easy for me to love you? Because I let go of everything and follow my heart to your center. It’s an instinct that can be clouded by thought. You transform the world for me, you fill it with so much beauty its almost to much for my heart to handle. You say I over think but the truth is I don’t. The truth is I can love you so deeply and perfectly because we aren’t identical. We are two sides of the same coin, and thats how I find balance. This unconditional love or compassion some would call it is reserved for special stars in my sky. If I had to decide which is more important to my survival, breathing or loving you, I really couldn’t answer. If I stopped either I really couldn’t say I’d be alive. I have a passion, a fire that drives me beyond simple thoughts, and thats how I survive inside your heart. So I don’t think too much, yes I feel a lot of things deeply, but I’ve learned control my thoughts. I’ve learned without control I’d lose myself and you. How do you think I’m able to be there for you in different ways? If I didn’t learn to control my thoughts I would go mad. I focus on the most important part of my universe, your eyes, those beautiful eyes are an ocean of love and provide me all the truth I need. I know you say I’m special and no one will love you the way I do, but you need balance, you need that other person to be the negative to your positive charge. Without it life is a roller coaster, and not in a good way. You deserve to be loved, but you shouldn’t have to sacrafice all that makes you special. These complexities are the source of your beauty, they make you special, and they should not be sacraficed. I would really hate to see you sacrafice all that beautiful, that would break my heart. I said all of this yesterday, but I wanted to give you a more thoughful response.
Love,
Joseph