It was a few strokes past midnight on Christmas Day. He ended their conversation with, “Thank you.” “She is probably asleep,” he thought to himself. He knew even if she wasn’t she wouldn’t have asked why. She was smart and learned to ignore his “complicated” moments and words. It was probably best she had already told him he doesn’t have a chance. Not in those exact words but with a look once. Even if you have never seen that look you would know it when you saw it. Its a look of pity and love. His heart doesn’t listen. It still goes on loving, wanting, and hoping. It’s really not a bad life, he had now become accustom to his broken heart. They say the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know, and he definitely knew this demon. The thing he couldn’t figure out was why he couldn’t walk away. He did understand that he could only love her in one way, and when he looked at her his heart will always melt. He knew from the moment he met her he would always be in love with her. Not being a child he knew when someone tells you they don’t feel the same you should move on, but he couldn’t. As hard as he tried he couldn’t. To add insult to injury she was also his best friend, they had a connection, an understanding beyond anything he had ever felt. Getting back to his “Thank you.” In his mind the thank you was for all the obvious reasons. For being the most beautiful example of a woman he had ever known. For being the perfect image of love in this broken world, but most of all he was saying thank you for one of his favorite moment. The day before at work she tied up her hair with a pen, not in any exact fashion, but it always left him without words. His favorite part were the few loose stands of hair that fell randomly framing her beautful face. Looking at her during these moments he understood why men fight wars, build mooments, create priceless works of art, climb moountains, and otherwise push the limits of their humainity in an attempt to be worthy of such women. Looking that her dark silky hair tied up exposing the delicate knape of her neck he fantasized what it must be like to kiss that skin, and memorize those curves by touch. With his eyes secretly he traced her those delicate contours again and again, down the the base of her neck and up to that cute chin, the dimple on her left cheek, those lucious full lips, the beautiful mole on that little button nose, and then up to the center of his universe, her eyes. Her eyes were what made his universe move. He was an expert in these momemnts, he knew if he watched her carefully there were these rare random moments when he could steal a deep stare into those eyes when she was unaware. You can get lost in that ocean of love, pain, joy, fear, and wonder, and he never missed a chance to dive into that ocean that she called a soul. This is why he loved her, she made moments like this happen when she was at her desk opening her mail. He had known for years and this passion and desire has only grown deeper. This is why he never considered walking away, he knew this love was part of him. Bsides, who called walk away from a miracle like this. Sure his heart had been broken a thousand times and was sure to only have years of heart ache ahead, but she was worth it. Today was a day he spent with family, and he looked forward to it. His heart now considered her family too, so it left him sad that he would not see her today. His only comfort was knowing that although separated for the moment by time, space and personal circumstance he could still feel his heart beat inside of his. This was something either of them could deny. As he decided to get up for the day and get ready for the world he sent her thoughts of love and happiness.