Jadie,

Thank you for showing me the light of inspiration comes from within, and giving me reason to bring my dreams into reality. Day after day I continue to work, and there is no turning back for me. However, you have to know that each word meant more when I was able to share it with you. Even the fire you sparked burns cold because I can’t feel comfortable in it’s light. Each word is now a painful awkward struggle because I hate my eyes. I see things, I see you, I see the world, but I’m not sure of the truth of it all. Something is broken and I am not sure how to fix it. I doubt what I see and I don’t trust what I feel when I try to believe what you want me to believe. In someways I know I was both wrong and right to feel what I feel. Am I crazy to miss you? Right now I am on center in the perfect place, free of the fears and insecurities that have plagued some many years, but something feels so wrong. I don’t doubt the path to my success. At the same time I know your life is good right now, maybe it’s better without me, and I know it’s selfish of me to miss you but I do. It’s true you enabled me. You enabled me to pull myself out of a dark downward spiral, you enabled me to realize my potential, and you enabled me to turn my back on fear. For this I will always love you. You’ve helped me open my eyes. You’ve given me my world back. This is why it’s hard for me love you within moderation. You are a unique wonderful anomaly, even in times of frustration or anger it’s a truth I never dispute. I hope one day I can share this world with you. Until then I wish you a wonderful birthday week and all the love in the world.

Love,

J