Walking Away

Jadie,

I have been up most of the night searching for answer. Praying I’d find a way to keep you close because I can’t imagine not sharing this life with you. We are both exhausted and my mind has been working overtime since Thursday trying to wrap my arms around this situation. I told you that seeing you and him together felt like a thousand knives stabbing my heart all at once. It hurt more than I expected. It was a terrifying moment of truth, but when my heart stopped beating out of my chest I had a moment of clarity. What I felt was the realization of a truth I do not know how to explain, and I know you are blind to this reality. The only way I can say it is that you are timeless, and this world will crumble to dust long before I stop loving you. You are the missing piece of my heart that I never thought I’d find, and my world is infinitely more meaningful and beautiful with you in it. You say I need to give other women a chance, but I know there are no other woman like you. Somethings you just know. There is no point in arguing because on this point we will always disagree. It’s a cruel joke that the timing is off, because I know my heart fits your’s like a corresponding piece of a puzzle. It kills me knowing there are parts of me you see perfectly, but sadly there are other parts that you can’t see. If you actually opened your eyes to this blindness you would be surprised. Given half a chance maybe I’d surprise you. You don’t have to agree and I do not want to overwhelm any further. Nor I do not want to hurt you or be the source of any frustration, but I would be a coward if I walked away without saying I think you are wrong about me. I know you feel something missing, but maybe this is based on a skewed perception. I will give you space if you need space, I will give you silence if you need my silence, but don’t walk away. It would be a mistake to walk away right now. I am not asking for you to pretend that the past few days didn’t happen. I am just asking you stop over thinking every move, and I will do the same. I can not change the way I love you, you know that will never change, it’s all or nothing, but I can promise to give you your best friend back and I can promise you honesty and moderation in my eyes, in my actions, and in the words I say. I am not disposable Jadie, not to you. You need me just as I need you. You are the greatest story of my life, and I want to see how this story to the end.

Love,

J

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