Moonlite

True beauty is rare. It is beyond description and it is something only the heart can understand. So please forgive me for my feeble attempt to capture this beautiful soul in words. We were all lucky to be touched by her, she was shooting star that brought light to our dark nights. Her love changed the world more than she will ever know. Jadie’s capacity for compassion and love is something that will always inspire me. Early in life there were challenges, but her heart was bigger and stronger than any pain the world could throw at her. She wanted to change the world and maybe she didn’t realize it but she did this everyday she opened her eyes and got out of bed. She definitely changed my world.

Jadie had many other qualities beyond beauty and compassion. She  loved board games, sports, really anything that allowed her to win, but she never thought she was better than anyone, she just had a fun competitive spirit. Above all games I think she loved scrabble, and even though she claimed to be ESL she beat me every time. Time with Jadie was always fun and she never excluded anyone, not even me.

This women had many talents. Among them cooking. Her tofu scramble was legendary, and I swear her Chai tea could cure cancer. She was a great organizer, and had life long love affair with punctuality. If you showed up exactly on time you were already ten minutes late in her book. Anyone that knows me knows I have had a life long struggle with punctuality, but Jadie, or I should say fear of Jadie helped me over come that disability.  Really the only thing I was ever afraid of was disappointing her because she never let me down.

I think the greatest tragedy today is not that the sky lost its brightest star, but the fact that she was unable to see her own light, feel her own magic, or breathe in the indescrible beauty that lived within those mysterious brown eyes. I wish she could have known what I know, and I wish she could have seen what I saw, but she never did. When I met her the world felt less lonely, and I’m sure everyone here today knows what I am talking about. She was beautiful inside and out, but it was that heart, that enigma that she called a heart that made her fires burn so bright. Jadie always gave too much, felt too much, loved too much, sometimes more than that brave heart could bear. There were times she felt weak because we took too much, but she never let that stop her from being there for the ones she loved. I will always remember this angel we did not deserve, I will always remember the love I did not deserve, but above all I will always remember the how beautiful the world was when she smiled.

Jadie was perfect. She always thought I was crazy for saying that, but she was perfection. She was the perfect blend of vulnerable strengths, and timid beauty. A perfect blend of courage and insecure obsessions. She was pleasure to suffer, and full of impossible possibilities and complex simplicities. She drive you mad with happiness and tear you apart with love. Perfection had a new definition the day she was born.

I still do not think I will ever deserve her love, but today I am proud to have known and loved her. Her love made the world bigger and brighter than I ever dreamed it could be. Today half of my heart dies, but her memory will keep me moving forward towards my own perfection, and her beauty will never stop inspiring me to love as much as I can. Goodbye Jadie, I love you.

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