Somedays it kills me that I care so much about what you think, and I hate going to bed right after you upset me. I’ve been up off and on throughout the night thinking about this weekend. I couldn’t finish writing my chapter because I kept dwelling on the fact that you feel I will never reach that 100%. I’ve made a lot of changes in my life and you are the catalyst that triggered all of this change. The one thing that makes you different, the one reason I love you beyond anyone else in this world is the fact that you believe in me. You believed that I am better than what I’ve been and you refuse to accept anything less than my full potential. I know you are right in thinking I am better than what I have been. I will reach that 100%. I know you didn’t mean in a cruel way when you said you need to find balance with me, but it hurt to hear you say that. It makes me feel that the one person in my life that really believed in me has lost faith. Maybe I am dwelling too much on your words. Maybe I love you too much. I definitely know I love you more than you want me to sometimes. This will never change, and you know I will never love anyone the same way I love you. I will never fully explain where all it comes from, or why I have loved you from the day we met. You’ve taught me that somethings do not require explanation. Please understand there is nothing in my life more powerful than the inspiration and love I get from you. When I think of you, when I look at you I am always reminded of who I am, and suddenly everything is so simple. Don’t take that away from me and please don’t start accepting me for less than who I should be. I know what I am capable of achieving and I will make it all happen. I will prove to you I am capable of achieving consistency. I will show you I can reach 100%. Also thank you for being “inflexible” or “difficult.” These are you words, but I realize it’s one of the thousands of reasons why I do love you. For the record I don’t see you as any of these things. You just require exactly what you give, and most people don’t care or give as much as you do. I beg you don’t start caring less. Don’t start giving less. It’s what makes you special. Do not let that die. I would rather die than to see you change. It’s almost morning. I can hear birds singing and cars starting. Time for me to start my day. Today I promise you 100% and each day I will renew this promise to you and myself. Thank you for being my never ending source of inspiration, and thank you for being the whirlwind that has become the center of my universe. I love you.

Love,

J